Archive for Beginning

This is my blog

Posted in Uncategorized with tags on February 3, 2009 by bradellison

Crom only knows how you came here, or why.  Maybe you clicked the link in my email or message board sig.  Maybe you were referred here from the myspace or Facebook profiles I never use.  Maybe you just typed “oneiric rantatorium” into Google for reasons I won’t even guess at and trusted to fate.

The point is, you’re here.

And I’m here.

Because this is my blog.

Because I have things to say.

So here’s the deal: whenever I feel like it, I’ll write stuff here about what I’ve been doing lately (which will be boring, unless I finally get around to doing some amateur ghost-hunting), what I’ve been writing (it will probably involve themes of crime, justice and blood-stained revenge, possibly with some vampires or necromancy or something thrown in for flavor) or about whatever I happen to be thinking about, be it why Clint Eastwood should be President or exactly which film version of Dracula is best (and this will be interesting).  On the weekends, which are given over to matters religious (which may or may not be boring, depending on how angry I am that week), we’ll be sticking to the following schedule, until I forget/get bored/have something better to do:

Friday: The fun begins with 95 Theses Friday.  That drunk and perpetually angry pioneer Martin Luther made do with a church door.  I’ve got the internet, a tool for telling everybody exactly what you think whether they care or not that would make Luther poop his pants.  And like Luther, I have some issues with the church I’d like to discuss.  This Friday’s installment is tentatively titled “Joel Osteen is just asking for a thrashing.”

Saturday: A little feature I will call either Nerd Testament or The Sermon Illustrations You’ll Never Hear From the Pulpit.  Let’s have a vote on it.  Saturdays are when I’ll be mining the great uncharted wilderness of pop culture for illustrations of Christian virtue.  This week, it’ll be either an examination of why Spider-man is such an awesome role model or my explanation of how the incident with the prostitute in the bandit-controlled hot springs resort in the samurai epic Lone Wolf and Cub illustrates aspects of the sacrifice of Christ, with support for the metaphor drawn from Solomon’s Song of Songs.  I may even work in a compare and contrast between that story’s blood-spattered blade-swinging conclusion and the Revelation of Saint John the Divine.  So good times should be had by all.

Sunday: A second attempt at a feature I call Brad Reads the Gospels.  As you’ll shortly learn and relearn most Fridays, I have an especial store of aggravation reserved for people who claim to be Christians but actually have no idea what their Scriptures say.  To keep myself from reproach on that score, and to better understand the essential teachings of Jesus Christ Himself, I’ll be working my way through the work of the Four Evangelists, and taking all of you at home along for the ride with my own brand of commentary.  If you have an opinion, let me know which Gospel I should start with.  Matthew is kind of dull to kick off with, but John might be too awesome to take in first.  So I’m thinking, probably Mark.

So that’s the gameplan.  Monday through Thursday you get whatever.  It’ll probably be mostly about comic books, B-movies and other stuff I care too much about.  Except I’ll be explaining, by and by, why you should care about it all too.  I will seek deep meanings in old Nintendo games, dudes.  Heck, I’m liable to expound at length about Castlevania tomorrow.  Dig it.