Once More Round the Sun

2012 may have been the single worst year of my life.  I lost a lot, I endured a lot of pain, and I’ve come out the other end with scars that’ll last me the rest of my life.

The important thing is that I’ve come out the other end.  I’ve lost friends, lost family, maybe came close to losing my job a time or two, experienced about the most excruciating and inexplicable pain I’ve ever felt, and failed to achieve most of what I meant to achieve but I’m still in the game, and I’m staying in it.

Meant to write a novel.  Damn thing’s still not done.  Meant to sell some stories.  Got a pile of messy unfinished drafts topped with a rejection or two.  Meant to get promoted.  I guess I’m lucky I still have my job.  Meant to put a little money away.  Got the front end of my car busted up some instead.  Meant to start selling some of my work on the Kindle store.  Not quite there yet.  Meant to have a kid.  Fuck you for asking about that.  I spent most of the time from March to around October or so depressed as hell and barely even realizing it because being ground down by life had gotten to be my new normal.

In 2012 I lost.  But I’m not finished yet, and the last year hasn’t all been on one end of the scale.

I’ve made some friends, and gotten to know some friends better.  I wrote a comic book that got published, and you can buy it now.  I met seasoned veteran writers and scholars and talked with them as equals.  I have a cat, and a tattoo, and a library.  I failed in the attempt, but I’ve got most of a novel, and that’s more than I had before.  I’m a better writer now than I was last year, and I’m closer to being a pro.

I’ve got family, I’ve got friends, I’ve got faith, and I know who I am.

Tonight I’m licking my wounds.  Tomorrow I roll up my sleeves.

2013, I will sell fiction.  I will see comics published.  I will finish a novel. I will continue to be a minister, in my own way.  I will tell stories.  I’ll remember who I am, and I won’t be beaten.

I’m going to take this year by the throat.


One Response to “Once More Round the Sun”

  1. Chris Gruber Says:

    I think you and I have far more in common than Robert E. Howard. Hang in there, kid.

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