Hellhound On My Trail

I figure everyone has at least one abiding demon in their nature, at least one thing they’re going to have to wrestle with until the end.  Julius Caesar had his ambition, Patton had his pride, Sid Vicious had his addiction, Newt Gingrich has his need to be the biggest dick in the room at all times, and so on.

My demon’s my lack of discipline.  This is plain.  The way I have to fight sometimes to force myself to do the work I love is downright perverse.  My chronic inability to finish what I start has been with me for years, choking me.  It’ll keep on doing so, I imagine, until I’m in the ground (I’m operating under the assumption that my wife won’t tolerate my having either a viking funeral or a sky burial).  That’s how it goes.

So here I am trying to wrestle with it.  It’s a killer, but it’s become clear that I’m the thing that’s most in my way.  Only thing to really do about that, I guess, is to try and muscle through it.


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