I will show you bitter, bleak, ironic comedy

These are the cartoons of Hal Lindsey, increasingly insane Rapture-advocate.  Note his obsession with Israel, coupled with his apparent total lack of understanding of the actual political situation of that region.  Note also how he depicts Arabs and Mexicans.  And note too his ignorant fear of Islam, about which he seems to know nothing.  He also seems to conflate John Kerry’s telling the truth about war atrocities committed by American troops in Vietnam with treason, believes that George Bush brought peace to Israel, and expects all Republicans and no Democrats to be Raptured (which I imagine would come as quite a shock to Democrat President Jimmy Carter and life-long Democrat Billy Graham).  Also plainly on display are his obsession with Armageddon (the result of his making Dispensationalist eschatology into an idol) and his gleeful anticipation of seeing those who disagree with him condemned by Almighty God (which is probably the cause of his eschatological idolatry, if we were to speculate).  Giving into this desire to see other people get punished is, of course, directly contrary of the teachings of Jesus Christ (and I’ll cop to this sin myself, for truth be told, reading more than half a dozen of those cartoons in one sitting makes me yearn to see Lindsey burned at the stake for his heresies), but it lies near the heart of much Rapture-centric doctrine.

This is a Pastor being unmasked after impersonating atheists to troll blogs and message boards.  He wasn’t very good at it.  Protip: Atheists do not not actually believe that killing babies is okay because they don’t believe in God.  That only happens in contemporary Christian fiction, and in the imagination of Fundamentalists.  Pro-choice people believe aborting fetuses is not the same thing as killing babies, and truth be told, there’s not much in scripture to prove them wrong.  But that’s a side issue.

Note, o my brothers, how easily his disguise was pierced, because he does not actually understand how people who are different from himself think, or what they actually believe.  This failing seems like something that might make his job difficult.  And note, above all else, how unrepentant he is once caught out in his lie.  This man is a Pastor, and the best evangelism tactic he can come up with is lying.  Badly To strangersON THE INTERNET.  It does not get lower than that.  Not if you crawl in the dust on your belly like the Serpent in the Garden of Eden, who told the first lie, and is the Father of Lies, and of Liars.

While we’re at it, if it makes you feel better, note that there are some atheists in the comments section who are also acting like jerks.  Of course, their skepticism and anger directed towards us might be partially explained by the fact that Pastors lie to them in the name of God.

Excuse me.  I need to take some deep breaths.

Here’s totally unhinged rock-and-roll-hating Fundamentalist personality Bob Larson’s handy test to see how high your risk of demonic possession is.  Turns out that demons love possessing abuse victims almost as much as they hate Bob Larson.

Larson, like an increasingly unsurprisingly large number of high-profile Fundamentalists, is a man who’s spent decades earning money and talking on radio and television based on a massive pack of lies. His own lies, and lies told by others that he cheerfully repeats.  The gradual realization that a big part of the religious culture I’d been brought up in was constructed by people who habitually told lies to advance their own agendas was a big part of what set me on my current path of trying to establish a better understanding of what it is to be an Evangelical.  I was raised to value truth, as the Bible teaches.  It will set you free.  I believe in that. and I believe

in God, the Father almighty,
creator of heaven and earth.
I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord,
who was conceived by the Holy Spirit,
born of the Virgin Mary,
suffered under Pontius Pilate,
was crucified, died, and was buried;
he descended to the dead.
On the third day he rose again;
he ascended into heaven,
he is seated at the right hand of the Father,
and he will come to judge the living and the dead.
I believe in the Holy Spirit,
the holy catholic Church,
the communion of saints,
the forgiveness of sins,
the resurrection of the body,
and the life everlasting.
Amen.

Hear the word of the Lord God, O Israel:

Deliver my soul, O LORD, from lying lips, and from a deceitful tongue.

What shall be given unto thee? or what shall be done unto thee, thou false tongue?

Sharp arrows of the mighty, with coals of juniper.

Listen!

These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:

A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,

An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,

A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.

Do you want the Church of Christ Jesus Son of God Almighty to endure forever, or would you poison the roots of the Tree of Life?

The lip of truth shall be established for ever: but a lying tongue is but for a moment.

Deceit is in the heart of them that imagine evil: but to the counsellors of peace is joy.

There shall no evil happen to the just: but the wicked shall be filled with mischief.

Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight.

To lie in the name of God is blasphemy.  It is obscenity.

Every way of a man is right in his own eyes: but the LORD pondereth the hearts.

To do justice and judgment is more acceptable to the LORD than sacrifice.

An high look, and a proud heart, and the plowing of the wicked, is sin.

Repent!  For the Kingdom of God is at hand!  The axe is laid to the root, and the tree that produces poison fruit will be quickly chopped down and cast into the fire!

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4 Responses to “I will show you bitter, bleak, ironic comedy”

  1. Oh man, thanks for this. It is people like yourself that makes someone like me want to continue believing in God, when it’d be so much easier not to.

  2. It’s hard, isn’t it? Christianity helps keep me sane but a lot of Christians seem to do the opposite.

  3. You made a number of good points. I’ve been a watcher of Bob Larson since 1985 and I know how much a liar he is.

    May I add that lying and deception within Christianity also includes the self-proclaimed ” experts” on cults and the occult. As a Pagan for around thirty years I have seen time and time again how Christian ” experts’ have lied and deceived about many things, including my religion. When a simple thing as claiming the peace sign is the ” Cross of Nero” when in fact it is what Bertrand Russel made from semiphones meaning ” total nuclear disarmament” That is one of many lies I’ve seen over and over.

    When a Christian tries to claim my deities are demons, I ask them if blasphemy is bad when applied to their god why is it acceptable when they do it to other deities. And when they try to pass on the misinformation I ask them this very simple question: If you tell me something I know about and I see you lie, distort information or mislead, how can you expect me to believe you about your Savior’s death, burial and ressurrection and salvation?

    For people who claim to be of the ” Truth” I’ve met a LOT of Christians who LIED. Even in personal encounters they’ve lied and deceived me in order to “save” me.

  4. Sigh. My demon test score was only 5, and I so wanted to have my own little demon. Guess I’m just a vanilla atheist.
    As for Christian Zionists, maybe it’s better that these people are tossing money at Israel instead of buying more house and senate seats. My heart goes out to the Israeli tour guides who take fundies around to all the historical sites. The temptation to boot one over a cliff must be strong indeed.

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